Freddy Wants a Blog and creates a disaster at the party.

Monday the 11th;



wowie wow.

Freddy came home, after driving in my newly painted, and repaired hot pink minivan(because Freddy said, and I quote, some bitch named ghostbutt Hammerfuck totaled it because... I don't know.), which carries the whole family, and can apperently fit all his friends, and then C'Dward, who Freddy claims he very much dislikes, but has to drag around to please Matilda.

I find this hard to believe.

Anywhosil, Freddy was all like "Bitch, can I have a blog?"

At first, I thought this was an okay idea, as Fred needs a little more enthusiasim in his life. All he does is sulk, and go to Wal-Mart, and buy eggs, which means I have to give him money, because he has no source of income.

Then, I thought of the fact that if Freddy had a blog, it would be fucking morbid. He would talk about setting things on fire, and that he makes horror home videos with Mike and Jason. People would have a conniption. Then kill thmselves, which I don't want to have to deal with, because them cops would come by constently, to yell at me, then Tony and Fox would have to shove them away.

That would suck.

So, I said no, then he started to flip shit, throwing dishes to the gound, and yelling curse words, and just in spite of me, started writing, on a peice of paper, his first blog post.

Kay, so, I better go, and hide his computer.

Hey, this is Freddy, bitches.

Norah left her computer on the dining room table while she went to put out a back yard fire.

Just to tell you all, I AM a pedophile, and I give LSD to children. Norah will most likely read this, but still not believe it, because she is a re-tard. She took away my computer, because she thinks I will make a blog, and it will mind fuck people. This is not true, because people would not care. I also think the only people who would read it would be like, Michael and Jason. And C'Dward, who I fucking hate with a passion.

Oh. Shit.

Freddy Out !

Oh my fucking god. Freddy took the laptop, didn't he? If anyone reads this, and like, dies, it is definetly not my fault. It is Fred's, because he set Jack's rose bed on fire, and I didn't want him to come home from the family hotel and see his roses were dead.

I think I need to go. Harvey is all like, vroomming at Freddy.

kpeace.


Wednesday the 13th, Lispeth's Founders Day Party, oh dear god.


I didn't know what the fuck was going on when I woke up on the 13th. I was so wacked out, no joke. I think I was drugged last night, and the familiarity of the headache, I knew it was LSD. I don't even remember where I probably got it.

Well, anyway, I invited a friend to Lispeth's founder's day party tonight. Her name is Clarice Starling, and she worked with Tony and Fox at the FBI. We have known eachother since we were 19 years old. It is awesome, because she lives in Washington, and not Illinois. I love her, and apperently, she somehow knows Gertie's husband Hannibal. I will keep them away the whole night.

So, Clarice popped in around 2:00, making it an hour before we had to walk over to Lispeth's giant house. I actually am so amused that the whole block has massive houses except Jason's, which is an awkward shack.

So, I dress up the boy's, and Freddy actually complied to walk with us. I am so proud of him.

Clarice kept profiling the family, which I found odd, because there isn't much about our family that is weird, and she will somehow find out that Freddy has an obsession with eggs (family secret.).

Also, when we were walking to Lispeth's, we saw Jason lurking outside Gertie's house. Freddy laughed.

And we got to Lispeth's her youngest daughter's were outside still picking wildflowers for all the tables. I got a small bunch. It was cute.

The boy's ran off to do there own, and Freddy almost regurgitated a cow, because C'Dward was there, with the new boy on the block, who I assume is this Ghostbutt Hammerfuck, which I assume is not actually his name.

Gertie popped up around 5:30, and I had to hide Clarice from her, because she likes to jump to conclusions about people cheating on her. Hannibal saw her, and acted all twitchy, and waved. She look kinda disgusted. ;)

Long story short, shit happened.

Freddy appereantly spiked the chocolate fountain, and everyone was wacked out of their minds. Freddy is grounded for the rest of his life, but may be able to Wal-Mart once a week.

Have fun Freddy, while it last's.

Cracked Eggs, Rubber Duckies and LSD.

Blog,

I am surprised I'm still alive, as I cleaned Freddy's room today.

It started out normal. I mean, I got up, ate breakfast, Tony and Fox went to work, Harvey went out into the woods randomly, and Jack was in the hospital getting his stomach pumped. Freddy was out driving my car around that fucking long road called Rippergrove Road.

Gertie lives on the fucking top, with her massive mansion with her million husbands, and Michael. Okay, maybe not a million husbands, but she has a lot. Maybe not as many as me, but you get the point.

Anyway, I decided to clean Freddy's room, because I think deer live in there because of the rotten shit. So, I emerge in there with one of those 1940's gas masks, and gloves. I started picking up his clothes, and stuff when I found cracked eggs under his bed. It smelled terrible. Then, I found a mini Easy Bake oven, with rubber duckies inside, and inside the ducks, were what I presumed were...DRUGS.

Having been a druggie at one point, I knew that it was LSD, which oddly enough is Gertie's last name. I stared at them for a while, wondering what to do. I don't think I can confront my troubled son about this addiction, so I think I will just leave them there. I did drugs, and I ended up just fine, if I should say so.

Anyway, I also cleaned my room, but I wouldn't dare go into the others. I was morbidly terrified of Harv's, probably because he does some pretty freaky shit down there.

Then, Freddy came home. I could tell because the van radio was blasting that music that my kid listens to. He left the car running, and went to him room, then yelled "BITCH! WHY DID YOU CLEAN MY ROOM!"

Then I preceded to explain deers were living in her closet, and that I did not find anything out of the ordinary, other then that.

I hope he doesn't notice I took the Easy Bake Oven.

xxx.

Norah.